Friday, March 5, 2010

This one's all about a turd

After finishing up an IEP meeting, I asked Julia if she needed to go to the bathroom before we headed home.  She thought that was a good idea.  We headed off to the elementary school bathroom.

We were in the fifth grade wing of the building.  A few 12-year-old girls were in and out during our time in the toilet.  They got to hear a wonderful conversation.

"A turd just fell outta my bum, mama.  A turd!"
"Shouldn't you wipe then?" I ask.

There was some more back and forth on this issue.  She was insistent that a bodily function had just occurred but lives in some alternate reality where no further action is required.  I was aware we had an audience and wanted to go home.  I let it slide and mused that my mother of the year certificate is probably in the mail as we walked back to the meeting room.

When we get back, Julia's hearing impaired teacher asks, "Did you find the bathroom Julia?"

There is no response.  The child is clearly tired.

"Are you just pooped?" is her next question.
My daughter exclaimed, "a little turd fell out!"

At this point the teacher gets down to Julia's level.  I am mortified that this is the moment when another adult has to explain to my child that it is inappropriate to announce what just happened in the bathroom in such detail.

"It's an expression," the teacher tells her.  "Pooped means you feel tired!"

It may not have been the best time to introduce that particular expression.  "Are you pooped" and "did you poop" are rather close phrases.  Combined with the proximity to an actual bathroom trip this is probably what motivated the unabashed disclosure.  Or it could be that Julia was just really hung up on that turd.

Apparently the teacher and another attendee of our IEP meeting had just been having some sort of conversation about the difficulties children with hearing loss face.  "This is a perfect example," the teacher exclaimed as I turned fifteen shades of red.  "This is perfect for your blog!"

Oh the things I go through for this blog!

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